As I read pages 54-59 in Embracing Writing, specifically "Playing with Revision" by Michelle Cox and Katherine E. Tirabassi, I learned so much about revision that I did not before. When I write, my weakest spot is revising it all. I often write too much, getting yelled at for going over the page limits, and because of so many pages that I wrote, I just become lazy that I don't really want to read and revise it all. Moreover, I think that everything I write fits well in the essay, and if I were to delete a sentence or change a line, the essay would be incomplete. I find it easy to edit others' work, but impossible to edit my own, even when I KNOW it could be a lot better. I have a tendency to be repeteative, and overwrite...which I think I already said...See? Repetative! Anyway, I think I overwrite so often because my thesis is never narrowed down enough; I want to get ALL the points across instead of just elaborating on a few because I thought it almost impossible to elaborate so much on just one point. But, after reading these pages, I know now that there is so much one can talk about!
These pages about revising talk about writing multiple drafts, trying to find the meaning and lines that really stick out to you, as well as how to "Cut, Cut, Cut" (and, unfortunately, "Add, Add, Add"). Though, I do find the "Cut, cut, cut" section to be the most helpful in my case because it tells me to "Cut extra words that don't add meaning, such as 'really,'very,' 'basically,' 'thing,' 'it,' 'it was,' 'it is,' 'there were,' 'there is,' 'this is,' and 'that'" (56). This section also talks about trying to cut at least 15 words per page. I think this is an excellent idea- to have a goal like this. If I have a goal to cut a certain number of words ot lines each page, then perhaps revising and cutting down on pages will be easier for me. I learned about style and using active verbs to add more voice to the paper, varying my sentence structure so that information can be better emphasized, and to focus more on pronouns so that my writing can be more specific. Something that I have noticed in my own writing is that I tend to use a lot of general statements, and don't really have specific sentences. Next time, I will definitly "Comb through your draft and circle all instances of 'it' [because]...overuse waters down this emphasis...[or] make writing sound vague. 'There' at the beginning of the sentence can have the same effect...Now circle all uses of the words 'this' and 'these'...'he,' 'she,' 'you,' 'we,' 'they,' etc." (57).
Although the section about playing with time by using flashbacks, time stretches, and time summary is also important for me to know, I think the most interesting part of the whole reading were the last two pages, on the topic of details. I did not know that I could add details about so many things like people, places, objects, or memories. I didn't know or think to unbury a story that could be mentioned in a line, which could totally add to my story, or just add the slightest details to the simplest things, such as instead of saying car, I could, or rather should, say the specific type or name of the car.
Overall, I truly believe this will help my writing and influence it in a positive way. If I follow these guidelines, I know that I can sound less repetative, less wordy, and definitly less vague and general, and more specific. As you can see, from what I have just written in this blog, revising is a MUST learn in my book...
Here are a few sites that talk about how to revise an essay:
http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~wricntr/documents/Revising.html (It's Harvard...It's gotta be a good resource)
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/ (this site I had been to in High School and let me tell you, it is like the Bible of English writing, I highly sugest visitng this site)
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/677/1/ (writing)
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/561/05/ (revising)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Response to "A Twisted World"
So, tonight I was having trouble sleeping, and when this happens, I just lay in bed, thinking about the week, the day's events, and tomorrow. I usually think about school work, any homework or tests that will be coming up soon, and this only makes me stressed out, anxious, and everything that is the opposite if what I want when I go to bed. So, I was in bed, thinking about school (please don't think of me as a nerd...), when I remembered something we read in English class. This very short story, "A Twisted World" by James McMorrow Jr., wouldn't get out of my head. I decided to get out of bed and re-read it.
This story gives a hypothetical situation: What would happen if celebrities ran the country? McMorrow replaces our government heads with celebrities, and explains how things would be different. For example, he says, "Presidential debates would occur in front of the American Idol judges. I can just picture Simon Cowell telling a candidate how pathetic his healthcare plan is." This story is filled with humor like that, and that is why I love it so much- that is why is made such an impact on me. He uses celebrity names and gives examples of how they would change the system if they were in charge. With these examples, though extremely humours, they hold an underlying truth behind the words that hits the reader. It holds a realization of the fact that things could always be worse, and to stop looking at the negatives, and start seeing the positive side of things. We as humans, have a common flaw: pessimism and being judgemental. We are so concerned on political party and judge someone based upon their mistakes that we instantly close down on that person and can't see all the good they have actually done for the country and just in general. For example, away from politics so not to upset anyone, but General Custer. He will forever be remembered for his mistake at the Battle of Little Bighorn, and judged. In fact, if ever you mention his name, people only know him and associate him with Custer's Last Stand. People have forgotten all his acheivements. Granted, I am not saying his defeat was bad, I am all for civil rights and equality, it was just an example of how one mistake can overshadow so many accomplishments of a person. And why is this? Why is it that we, as humans, focus on the bad more than the good? Why is it that once one person does something wrong (such as a friend lying to a friend) we instantly see that person as forever bad? Why are we so judgy? Don't we all make mistakes? Can't we all relate? I mean, who hasn't done something they are not proud of in their life? Don't we want forgiveness? So, why is it so hard to give other people second chances, when if we were in that position, we'd beg for one saying that we'd never make the same mistake again? Perhaps McMorrow is right when he says at the end of his humours story, "As citizens we are a bit too quick to judge how our political representatives have done their jobs...Clearly, things could be worse." Now, I don't mean to support our current political situation, or not support it, but in general, we are judgy people, and McMorrow made an excelent point in showing that with his humor filled with underlying truths.
Anyway, back to the humor. In school, especially creative writing and free style writing, I always wrote funny stories with a moral at the end. This paper reminded me of those times. This story had the overall argument that we should not judge our current leaders and government officials because it could be worse; we could be run by celebrites, which as he proved is a lot worse. Arguing and using humor to portray your meaning, to me, is so effective, and I love it. I wish in classes we could do more papers that involve humor and getting a point across in effective ways. It is more fun than the typical essays with the boring facts and quotes put in, and the same old intro and conclusion. I love writing humor, and this story by McMorrow reminded me of all that fun it can be.
With that happy though of his story, and the memories of the ones I have written, in my head, I began to smile. I went back to bed and fell asleep. I guess what I am also saying, is that we all need to relax once in awhile and have fun in classes, and one way to do that would be by writing a fun, humorous argument instead of the same old, same old, essays.
Here is a link if you want to learn more about General Custer (because to be honest, I don't know much about him myself, except for Custer's Last Stand):
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/union-generals/custer/george-custer.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Armstrong_Custer
This story gives a hypothetical situation: What would happen if celebrities ran the country? McMorrow replaces our government heads with celebrities, and explains how things would be different. For example, he says, "Presidential debates would occur in front of the American Idol judges. I can just picture Simon Cowell telling a candidate how pathetic his healthcare plan is." This story is filled with humor like that, and that is why I love it so much- that is why is made such an impact on me. He uses celebrity names and gives examples of how they would change the system if they were in charge. With these examples, though extremely humours, they hold an underlying truth behind the words that hits the reader. It holds a realization of the fact that things could always be worse, and to stop looking at the negatives, and start seeing the positive side of things. We as humans, have a common flaw: pessimism and being judgemental. We are so concerned on political party and judge someone based upon their mistakes that we instantly close down on that person and can't see all the good they have actually done for the country and just in general. For example, away from politics so not to upset anyone, but General Custer. He will forever be remembered for his mistake at the Battle of Little Bighorn, and judged. In fact, if ever you mention his name, people only know him and associate him with Custer's Last Stand. People have forgotten all his acheivements. Granted, I am not saying his defeat was bad, I am all for civil rights and equality, it was just an example of how one mistake can overshadow so many accomplishments of a person. And why is this? Why is it that we, as humans, focus on the bad more than the good? Why is it that once one person does something wrong (such as a friend lying to a friend) we instantly see that person as forever bad? Why are we so judgy? Don't we all make mistakes? Can't we all relate? I mean, who hasn't done something they are not proud of in their life? Don't we want forgiveness? So, why is it so hard to give other people second chances, when if we were in that position, we'd beg for one saying that we'd never make the same mistake again? Perhaps McMorrow is right when he says at the end of his humours story, "As citizens we are a bit too quick to judge how our political representatives have done their jobs...Clearly, things could be worse." Now, I don't mean to support our current political situation, or not support it, but in general, we are judgy people, and McMorrow made an excelent point in showing that with his humor filled with underlying truths.
Anyway, back to the humor. In school, especially creative writing and free style writing, I always wrote funny stories with a moral at the end. This paper reminded me of those times. This story had the overall argument that we should not judge our current leaders and government officials because it could be worse; we could be run by celebrites, which as he proved is a lot worse. Arguing and using humor to portray your meaning, to me, is so effective, and I love it. I wish in classes we could do more papers that involve humor and getting a point across in effective ways. It is more fun than the typical essays with the boring facts and quotes put in, and the same old intro and conclusion. I love writing humor, and this story by McMorrow reminded me of all that fun it can be.
With that happy though of his story, and the memories of the ones I have written, in my head, I began to smile. I went back to bed and fell asleep. I guess what I am also saying, is that we all need to relax once in awhile and have fun in classes, and one way to do that would be by writing a fun, humorous argument instead of the same old, same old, essays.
Here is a link if you want to learn more about General Custer (because to be honest, I don't know much about him myself, except for Custer's Last Stand):
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/union-generals/custer/george-custer.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Armstrong_Custer
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